Educational TV Survivor
by Homer Sampsonite
Summary: In this Parody a bunch of annoying characters from educational tv are dumped onto a deserted island.There is only one rule,Kill or be Mutilated!
1. Introducing the Cast

1 Educational TV Survivor  
  
Part 1  
  
  
  
Hello, and welcome to educational TV Survivor. There are 7 castaways who were allowed to bring one item. Let's meet the castaways and see what they brought.  
  
Castaway #1.Face  
  
He's annoying, He's dangerous, and he is pissed! His convenient little TV brings face from nick jr. to us, he hasn't brought an item with him, but he has installed a rocket launcher into his TV.  
  
Castaway #2.Blue  
  
The gay little blue puppy has also been chosen as a castaway and has decided to be a little pussy about it. She brought with her a large hammer.  
  
Castaway #3.Po  
  
Po has been chosen to represent the Teletubbies and no one understands a word the little bastard says. She brought with her what looks like some kind of alien device.  
  
Castaway #4.Barney  
  
Barney is back and better than ever kids, this time he has a severe drug problem so obviously he brought a sack of joints and a lighter with him.  
  
Castaway #5.Winnie the pooh  
  
Pooh has lost it after the Disney channel screwed him over with that "Book of Pooh" crap. He brought honey and I wouldn't try to take it from this nutcase!  
  
Castaway #6.Elmo  
  
That's right kids, that anorexic little puppet is here and he is happy. (What a surprise) He brought his pet goldfish with him, the little fish fucker!  
  
Castaway #7.Piglet  
  
Pooh's annoying little sidekick is here on the island, but they have stopped being friends for now. Piglet brought a large box but we can't see what's in it.  
  
Well that's all the time we have for now. Tune in next time when we divide into camps. 


	2. Elimination Games

1 Educational TV Survivor  
  
Part 2  
  
  
  
Hello, and welcome, again, to educational TV Survivor. In this chapter our castaways split up into camps, but since there is an odd number of cast members we have to eliminate one of you.  
  
Oh wait a second never mind…Pooh just decapitated Piglet with a handgun. Um…That's not what I meant…but effective nonetheless. Ok everyone on the left of Piglets body becomes Camp/Team Dumb Ass. Everyone on the right becomes Camp/Team Dumb Fuck. Ok here are the teams…  
  
1.1 Camp/Team Dumb Ass  
  
1.1.1 Winnie the Pooh  
  
Blue  
  
Elmo  
  
1.2 Camp/Team Dumb Fuck  
  
1.2.1 Face  
  
Barney  
  
Po  
  
Okay now its time for the first elimination game. Its simple really 1 person is chosen by their teammates to represent their team in the game. The loser of the game gets turned into the castaway's dinner.  
  
The first game is simple really there are 12 hookers on each side of a line. The first person to fuck and pay all of them wins.  
  
It looks like our contestants are Pooh and Barney. Barney seems to be smoking a joint for good luck.  
  
Ok  
  
Ready…Set…Go!  
  
Ok Pooh is off like a Jackrabbit while Barney stumbles a few feet towards the first one. Pooh has fucked the first hooker and the hooker is telling him the bill and…Oh my God Pooh just shot the Hooker.  
  
5 minutes later…  
  
And our final score is Pooh: 0 Barney: 2  
  
Well it seems Pooh has killed all of the ones on his side and Barney couldn't afford more then 2.  
  
Well join us next time on Educational TV Survivor…  
  
Pooh put that gun down! Somebody grab that insane bear! 


	3. Guest Stars dont last very long on this ...

Educational TV Survivor  
  
Part 3  
  
Welcome back to Educational TV Survivor. Since our last chapter a few things have happened, for example Barney sneaking up on Po, in the night. It's just a matter time before all hell breaks loose. The Castaways have resorted to eating Elmo's Goldfish. Elmo was devastated by the loss but was pretty happy (what a frickin' surprise) to have a bite to eat. There are a few special guests here today, let me introduce you to…  
  
Big Bird, Eeyore, and Tigger.  
  
"YOU MOTHER FUCKERS! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" Pooh shouted at Eeyore and Tigger. Pooh is taking out his gun again and Tigger is hiding behind Eeyore. Oh my god an enormous honey jar has just fallen from the sky and killed Tigger and Eeyore. Big Bird and Barney are sure having a good time over there. Oh my god what the hell is Face doing? "Oh Big Bird you are such a good…. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" those, ladies and gentlemen, were Barney the dinosaur's last words, before him and big bird were blown to pieces by Face's rocket launcher.  
  
Well that's all the time and guest stars we have for now.  
  
Final count for this chapter…  
  
1.Camp/Team Dumb Ass  
  
Winnie the pooh  
  
Blue  
  
Elmo  
  
2.Camp/Team Dumb Fuck  
  
Face  
  
Po 


	4. The Hunt

Welcome back to the Literal catastrophe that is Educational TV Survivor. We actually have an intruder on the island so the next elimination game is…  
  
Kill the bastard intruder!  
  
We have identified the intruder too; it's the little Pikachu bitch! Face and Pooh have seemed to developed a team to destroy the bastard. Ok…  
  
On your marks…  
  
Get set…  
  
GO!  
  
And they're off to catch Pikachu. Let's see how they're doing…  
  
And Face is off on a speeding pace toward Pikachu as he blasts a rocket at the little shit. Oh He missed and hit Elmo. "AHHHHHHHHHH ELMO'S ON FIRE! ELMO'S ON FIRE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SOME BODY PUT OUT GOD DAMN IT!"  
  
Uh oh, here comes Blue, with a large wooden board, to help put him out. Blue is beating Elmo with a large wooden board as Po watches, babbling something. Blue has killed Elmo by beating him to death. Elmo's blood is flowing everywhere…His blood is…. Pink. Oh well, Hey what's Po doing? She is taking the alien device and aiming the satellite at the sky. A large spaceship is flying by the island. It appears the other Teletubbies are inside. A large laser beam is popping out of the top of the spaceship…. Ok so Po and the Teletubbies have killed Pikachu with a giant laser beam. Ok so I guess that makes Po the winner of the game. Oh my god Pooh and Blue seem to be arguing about something…. They're fighting now and…Yes Blue has Torn Pooh's Arm off! Well that seems to be all the time and limbs we have for now but tune in next time on Educational TV Survivor.  
  
Po  
  
Face  
  
Pooh  
  
Blue 


	5. Pooh has lost it...some more!

Since last time on Educational TV Survivor, We have had 2 camps/teams, well… Um… Now it doesn't really matter because each one of the four castaways has retreated to different parts of the island. Apparently they figure it's only a matter of time now… Well anyway. Let's see how they're doing.  
  
  
  
Face  
  
We're here at Face's Cave hideout, Face what do you think the outcome of this sick and twisted game is going to be?  
  
"Well, to tell you the truth… I AM GOING TO FUCK THOSE BASTARDS UP!"  
  
O… k? Thanks for your time.  
  
Po  
  
Po has decided to hide in a tree, where she can "play" with the coconuts. Po, What do you think the outcome of this psychotic survival game is going to be?  
  
"…. Po Dabba grubbe proker nusshie tuck pu!"  
  
Um… That's good to know.  
  
Pooh  
  
Well… Pooh, What do you think the outcome will be?  
  
"Hey, Do you know what I think? I think that I am gonna grab my fuckin' axe and go down to Blue's hideout and I'M GONNA HACK THAT BITCH INTO PIECES!"  
  
  
  
We're here, at Blue's underground hideout. We're going inside and.... Holy Shit! It seems that this little blue puppy knows her mechanics. Blue has built an underground laboratory… And here comes Pooh to decapitate her. Pooh has swung his axe at Blue, It seems that Pooh has missed and… Oh! Pooh's axe collided with one of Blue's machines. It appears to be too heavy for Pooh to lift, having one arm and all. What's this? Blue has quickly bolted over to the control panel and is turning the machine on, resulting in a 3000-volt shock throughout Pooh's body. Pooh let go of the Axe but he burst into flames before doing so. Pooh has dashed out of the underground lab and is headed for the sea. He put himself out and now runs back into Blue's lab. Pooh has just tackled Blue to the ground and recovered his arm in the process. He is now beating Blue with his severed arm. I think he's knocked Blue unconscious. He ran out of the cave, not before destroying the lab and causing a huge fire! He ran back to his hideout and watches the flames burst up from the ground.  
  
Pooh  
  
Face  
  
Po  
  
Blue? 


	6. Po gets turned on

Welcome back to Educational TV Survivor, Now I would like to just say something right now. I thought taking this announcer job would help me boost my career, but now I think it was just a gigantic mistake since the day I said, "I'll do it." But Anyway, We're not sure if Blue survived the fire or not. The Fire is now finally put out and we are now going down to the smoking wreckage. Oh my…Blue is dead. She was burnt to death. Oh Jesus, What now? Pooh is running up to the burnt down lab. He seems to be laughing. He has leaped onto Blue's body and… Oh my god. He has just cannibalized Blue's corpse. Ok lets get out of here before he decides to get desert. What the hell is going on over there? Face is choking Po with his Television cord. He is never plugged in but anyway, I don't think Po is hurt. Is she actually enjoying it? Yes for some strange reason Po is pleasured by Face's cord… I believe I just answered my own question.  
  
"Choking this Bitch isn't working, I'll have to try something else." Face is backing up but Po is following him. I think she wants more! Face has just deployed his rocket launcher. Face has just blasted several rockets at Po. All right then, Po is now dead and her scattered parts are about to rain all over the island. So... It's come to this. Pooh Vs Face! You know what, It seems we have run out of time so tune in next time for EDUCATIONAL TV SURVIVOR!  
  
  
  
Pooh  
  
Face 


	7. A Happy Ending or A Vile insult to Reali...

Welcome again to Educational TV Survivor. We're here witnessing what might be the last episode of the show. It has come down to 2 castaways. They're staring each other down and… wait a minute what the hell is that? There is someone hiding in the bush behind Pooh. Oh my God, Blue has just leapt out from the bush and has clobbered Pooh with her large hammer. She is literally beating the stuffing out of him. So Blue must have planted a stuffed decoy to make us think she was dead. The reason Pooh couldn't taste the difference was because he is a stuffed doll, to him that is cannibalization. Blue has beaten Pooh to death. Now it looks like she has his sights set on Face. She is approaching Face with the hammer in hand. Face has just deployed his secret weapon. Face has just killed Blue with his Laser cannon. We have a winner. Face is the Winner of Educational TV Survivor.  
  
What a second… What is that beeping noise? OH MY GOD! PIGLET'S CARDBOARD BOX HAS A BOMB IN IT!  
  
…………….KER-FUCKIN' BOOM!  
  
Well It seems No one wins.  
  
  
  
End  
  
The  
  
COMING SOON…  
  
Educational TV Fear Factor  
  
By the way for all of you punks at Gauger Cobbs Middle School who didn't believe me, WHAT NOW??? Hehehehehehehe! 


End file.
